a tale of a lone warrior.

I lay there quietly trying to relax and go to sleep.

M: "you didn't do anything. She's hurting still and worried that she upset you so she decided to give you space. Maybe with her last she feels he didn't have enough," I said.

I nodded and sighed "its not her I just....feel so vulnerable when around her and don't know how to deal with it....she makes me feel like the last one I was with had and it scares me....." I said softly.

M: "my ex use to say that, he also suffered from a loss. He was much older than me, he was 15 when the king enslaved him. I was 15 when we met and he was 25, but his love had grown sick and weak. Being useless when you're sick gets you killed as you know, and when he protested he had to watch as they teared her apart. He was very closed off, but he learned that sometimes love comes back to you in a new face. It's like the old one is giving you a gift to help with their wish to move on. He always saw me that way once he realized it, and that's how I see her," I said softly as I sat across from him.

I nodded and sighed. "She died before I got captured and ever since it been throwing myself at anything and everything that u could at least for the first few years after that I didn't care and kept pushing myself till I had nothing left night after night. Atleast till I met her..." I said softly.

M: I nodded, "and I wish I understood my daughter to tell you what she's feeling but the fact is I knew I would be safer leaving but she might be somewhat better off with the king. He had money to keep her alive if she was sick. Anyways she is obviously still disturbed by her ex too, so both of you are trying to heal each other with your own wounds, but it looks to me yours are scars, while hers might still be bleeding a little," I said.

I nodded and sighed softly looking down. "I just wish I could help her..." I said seriously.

M: "with the right actions and words, you will. In order to help her though, you have to be able to allow yourself to give yourself to her without fear or hesitations. And I'm not saying you should jump in bed with her and do it til the sun comes up," I smiled at him. "Well, I'm going to sleep, you should check on her before falling asleep." I got up and went to my tent.

I sighed and did just that looking in on her.

I had my eyes closed softly trying to force myself asleep but it still wasn't helping. I kept as still as I cod so I appeared to be asleep.

I sighed and sat down quietly "it wasn't u tonight wave that hurt me it was my own insecurities that are hurting me the most right now. If had a wall up so high for so long that without it I barely know what to think let alone act when around u that wall just disapears into thin air and I don't know how to act without it....I'm sorry." I said softly and wait a few minutes before getting up to leave.

I laid there and listened to him quietly. When I heard him about to leave I grabbed for his hand but fell short. It did get his attention though and that's all I needed. "I'm sorry too, I just don't know what to do. I want this to go slow but I was taught that to keep the men I want, I have to do everything I can to keep them. Having sex is just part of keeping them, so I'm learning you. You just acted like he did when I tried to put off sex, he would get this look like I wounded him and fall quiet. I have no experience with real love or relationships so I'm just doing what I can," I replied.

"I'm sorry for everything you went through but I promise that I will never wound u like that ever. And the day u want to give me everything I will gladly be there waiting for u and I will wait a thousand years if I must but u are worth every year. You are worth every moment I spend with u and every minute every day I wait for u to show me everything u are will just make that moment that much sweeter for both of us. Because it wasn't forced or even taken it was given willingly as for me I just have to get used to my walls that I built up around my heart to be gone as long as I am with u. Yes there are some things that do remind me of her but its all happy memories even though they hurt. But that is the past and I have for the most part moved on." I said softly sitting back down

I watched him and sat up. "Well I'm glad I just wish this transition can go much easier for us both, and that when it came time I did have that to offer you. No one but you knows of my indiscretions though so what worries me is that being open about just talking about him to anyone would have word spread and be looked down on."

"Well everyone you brought with from that hell of a city has their own failings. Some more than others. But I promise that whatever is said between us will stay between us " I said seriously

"Thank you so much love," I smiled at him. "I still can't help but worry of it getting out though."

"If it does I'll hunt the person down and bring them to justice." I said seriously.

I nodded and sighed. "Well, at least now I have a guardian for my honor as well," I said.

I nodded and sat quietly. "I am whatever u want me to be or need me to be..." I said softly after a few minutes

"I just need you to be you, whoever that is, and to be here for me when I need you most," I said.

I nodded and softly wrap my arms around u. "Ok my love.

I leaned into him quietly. "So will you stay in my tent tonight or do you need to be outside?"

"Up to u my love" I said softly

"Stay please?" I asked him softly.

I nodded and lay next to u. "Ok."

I lean into him, "thank you."